RPG Week 2019
It may be hard to believe, but the world’s most famous roleplaying game will be changing its name next year. Starting in April 2020, the iconic Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) will instead be called Dungeon(s) and/or Dragon(s), abbreviated D&/D.
“It’s a simple name change, really, but we wanted to show that we’re in tune with customers’ expectations,” said John DiBragio, Associate Vice Executive of Branding and/or Licensing for Hasbro. “Focus groups have shown that most Dungeon(s) and/or Dragon(s) players just weren’t reliably engaging with both of those aspects of the game world simultaneously, and our legal team suggested that we could be held liable if players didn’t experience at least two dungeons and two dragons per session. That really accelerated the name change.”
“What we’ve found,” DiBragio continued, “is that most of our players intuitively understand that dragons, who are known for having giant wings and flying around the countryside, really don’t want to be cooped up in a dungeon, eating dire rats and not finding any new treasure. It just doesn’t make much sense ecologically, so our Dungeon Masters will often populate their dungeons with things like rust monsters or gelatinous cubes, which obviously make way more sense. We don’t want to be held responsible for that.”
Of course, the flip side of DiBragio’s assessment is also true: most of the settings are not true dungeons, areas where prisoners are held. Often D&/D characters will instead explore cave networks, sewers, kobold warrens, unusual basements or even, very rarely, above-ground locations.
When asked if this presents a similar legal challenge, DiBragio merely stated that he “hadn’t thought of that” before excusing himself to make a loud, tearful phone call.
This is satire. Please make an Insight check.
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